


Golden Accessories

by LilacMist



Series: heroes woes [4]
Category: Fire Emblem Heroes, Fire Emblem Series
Genre: Crack, Gen, it's an innuendo
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-01
Updated: 2018-10-01
Packaged: 2019-07-23 12:59:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 894
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16159451
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LilacMist/pseuds/LilacMist
Summary: why my michalis wears a gold seashell barrette and i make an inappropriate joke





	Golden Accessories

**Author's Note:**

> this is loosely based off of a true story
> 
> alternate title: be careful who you give your accessories to

In the six months that Michalis has been the summoner's best friend, he has grown accustomed to taking his place on the throne in the grand hall. The summoner had called him an "overseer" of sorts, whose job was to ensure that the heroes read the bulletin boards and receive their missions. The unfortunate third task was to greet the heroes from other summoner's castles when they visited.

A young troubador trots up the stairs and waves. "I've come on an important errand from the summoner's friend--"

"It is appreciated. You may return to your realm," Michalis tells her curtly, waving his hand and shooing her towards the doors she just entered through. While that normally intimidates the heroes, today Elise is unmoved.

"Are you sure I can't stay a little while longer and hang out with everyone? This castle is so different than the one I'm from!" she gushes.

"Leave," he repeats.

She sighs and twirls around. "All right...I'll leave, but only because you look so cute wearing that hairpin!" she giggles, pointing at the ornament on his head.

Michalis grimaces and takes a deep breath before explaining, "This is a trophy. It is proof of my victory over Marth." He smirks, thinking back to that glorious moment. He had knocked the fire emblem out of the prince's hands, and he was able to watch Marth cry out to his allies one last time before he was silenced forever. Yes, that memory, that victory, is on proud display whenever he wears his golden accessory.

Elise shrugs and leaves, but it isn't long before another hero comes to greet him. "Mickey! That hairpin looks so natural on you!" Caeda giggles as she enters the castle on her pegasus.

"Trophy!" Michalis snaps. "And you know how you are to address me! Do it properly!"

Caeda laughs again and pats her mount, letting it fly outside. "Whatever, Professor Funslayer. Am I not allowed to compliment you in your choice of headwear?"

Michalis's brow furrows, and he stands up (to assert his authority). "It is a trophy! Only a small handful of heroes own these sacred spoils! They are the most driven, strongest, and--"

"So that's who has the other one!" the Ylissean tactician Robin discovers, scurrying up to the front of the castle wearing nothing but a bathing suit underneath her cloak.

She catches Michalis's eyes for a split second, and he groans. "Like I was saying, only the strongest, most devot--"

"Where did you get those goggles?" Caeda asks excitedly, almost missing a different castle's Marth walking in beside her.

Robin grins and adjusts them on her face. "I won them after beating an evil version of myself! These are proof that I topped her in a fierce battle!"

Michalis has since stopped trying to finish his thought. The honor of wearing a golden accessory was not something to be taken lightly. He would have to reprimand his summoner for carelessly giving the snorkel to the undeserving tactician.

By this time, a small crowd has amassed by the throne, intrigued by Michalis's temper tantrum and Robin's bubbly explanation of her fight in the dark abyss.

"Hey Robin, I've got proof I topped you, too!" Chrom tells Robin, elbowing her in the side.

She looks confused, then peruses the bulletin board. "My Grand Hero revival hasn't awarded a golden accessory yet. How could you possibly have acquired a..." she trails off when she turns back and sees him pointing at their children Lucina and Morgan. "CHROM! YOU CAN'T JUST SAY THAT!" she shrieks, hiding her face in her cloak as the rest of the heroes burst out into laughter.

There's so much commotion that no one hears the tiny voice pleading, "Uncle Legault, don't do it!" Nino is completely ignored as the rouge slips through the crowd up to Michalis's throne.

"You're a bold man, Michalis," Legault drawls, resting his hand on the ruler's shoulder. Michalis flinches away. "Wearing your heart on your sleeve like that. Who'd have thought you'd be so open about getting with Prince Marth?"

As soon as the words roll off of Legault's tongue, the foyer goes dead silent. The next few seconds drip by so slowly, eyewitnesses say that whole years may have passed without them knowing. Everyone stares up at the throne where a horrified Caeda, a dumbfounded Marth, and a very, very pale Michalis stare back.

Marth is actually the first one to choke out a sound, but as soon as he begins with a meek "I," Michalis comes to and blurts out a series of hotheaded excuses, including but not limited to, "OF ALL THE DISTORTED LIES TO SPREAD," "HOW DARE YOU ACCUSE ME OF HARBORING ANY FEELINGS TOWARDS THAT FOOL," "YOUR INSOLENCE WILL NOT GO UNPUNISHED," and a simple "I'LL KILL YOU."

Anna turns off her camera after recording the entire ordeal. "We'll make millions!" she assures Alfonse and Sharena, both of whom are just glad that this is over.

***************

The next day, Michalis returns to the front with a hot towel on his head, only signifying that he had visited the dungeon's secret hot spring. That stigma was one he could live with.

The gold hairpin now belongs to Caeda, who wears it with much pride. Marth turns five different shades of red when he hears how satsified she is to be the resident "Marth-topper."

**Author's Note:**

> i have some friends that cosplayed marth and michalis to a con, and let me tell you, their shenanigans were insane. they inspired this fic. the units that came to visit are also based off of friends i have, which was pretty fun to do. i hope i can write more of my real life into these dumb fics ha
> 
> also that cherami leigh reference was too good to pass up


End file.
